Sorry I don't have a refashion project to post today. I would like some advice on giving someone a gift that's been refashioned by me.
The question: Is it wrong to get some clothing from the Thrift shop, refashion it, and then give it to someone as a gift without telling them that the materials come from a Thrift shop?
I have friends/family who know about my refashioning and are very supportive/enthusiastic about it. I also have friends/family who think Thrifting/Refashioning is a 'weird-tree-hugging-hippie-cheapo' thing to do.
I know this particular person would love what I have refashioned for her but she has a real disdain for thrift shops. The garment has been thoroughly cleaned. So am I deceiving her if I don't tell her about where it comes from?
Thanks! Any comments would be greatly appreciated.
15 comments:
I wouldn't mention it unless she asks. I mean, if you had bought fabric new and made something, would you tell her what store you bought it from? Well, you might, I suppose, but it wouldn't ever come up with anyone I know. Anyway "I made it" is probably enough explanation, unless she specifically asks if it was from a thrift store.
I would probably have to agree with moojoo although with my 17 year old daughter I don't even used thrift store bpought new fabric as she has a major aversion bordering on mania to secondhand items from people she doesn't know. I think you would have to take into consideration such a situation if it existed. Otherwise there are the thoughts that most garments bought new have been tried by other people and my mother's idea that anything made in a foreign country had to be pre-washed before use because of the unknown bacteria that could have clung to them (unknown in our culture thus harsher to our bodies)as in measles to an african, etc. Interestingly, the Bible advocates two washes for clothes from people who had had leprosy but who were then proved to clear of it. Two hand washes to adequately clear out germs. Cherrie
Totally agree with Moojoo -- I think I'd only mention it if I thought the recipient would think it is a cool thing. I think it's a cool thing, and most folks get excited if you spend the time/effort to create something.
My first thought is that any decent friend would very much appreciate the time, energy, and thought you had taken to hand craft a gift no matter where you got the materials/supplies to make it. My second thought is that every single one of the refashions you've posted have been inspired in design and well constructed in their execution (is this sounding way too analytical? LOL). You're refashions look so good when you're done with them that I'm certain your friend would be THRILLED to receive anything that you've created just for HER! Hope that helps. XOXO
I say give it to her and don't tell her about it until she wears it a few times and falls in love with it. Then tell her.
Thanks ladies for all your comments! Very much appreciated!
I think some people are just 'spooked-out' about thrift store clothing because they think a dead person might have worn it (something like that). Am I spooking out anyone now by say this? :-)
And I totally agree that if you buy something new from a regular store, tonnes of people might have already tried it on. And some of them may even be sick at the time - who knows?
I think I'll give it to her without mentioning where the material is from. But if she asks about it, I don't think I can lie to her.....
It sucks that she feels that way about thrift store goods because there's no reason to feel that way, but I'm afraid you'll have to respect her attitude.
If you give her a gift made from thrifted clothes, and don't tell her, and then she asks and you have to fess up to it, it'll seem like a major breach of trust to her and become a burden to your friendship. Even more so if you should purposefully withhold the information but then tell her after a few wears to make her see it's okay to wear thrift-store stuff - because that could come across as you trying to educate her...
I would suggest something else: Offer her a refashion out of her own closet. Help her rearrange it and figure out which things she doesn't wear any more, then take those materials and turn them into something new she'll love and wear again! Then you could gradually move on to stuff that came from people she knows and trusts (her mom's or her siblings' closet, your closet, her boyfriend's closet...?). And maybe some day she'll realize that she's been wearing other people's clothes already, and not gotten sick :)
That's a great idea Poet. I would feel a little uncomfortable with the thought of a friend unwittingly wearing something I knew she/he had an aversion too. Even if I didn't agree with that aversion, I think I'd absolutely have to respect it. I'd feel like I'd duped them into something they wouldn't do if in full posession of the facts and operating under their own free will.
I agree with Valerie too, that your makes are just fabulous. So if you're set on gifting this particular item, perhaps you could present it to your friend and explain that it's made from recycled fabric (sounds less thrift store!) and that you immediately thought of her when you found it. Tell her that you understand she's not usually a big fan of this type of thing, and that if she doesn't feel comfortable with it, propose Poet's idea to her..
Good luck!
Px
Mmm! What's that saying again? "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth"
Mention it if she wants to discuss how you made it or where you got the inspiration for it. Then if she doesn't want to wear it, it's her decision, not yours to make for her. If she chooses to not wear it, make sure to tell her to pass it along to someone who would indeed wear it.
Your refashions are great and it would be really wasteful to let them sit in a closet.
I think Poet's idea is excellent. I wouldn't go with not telling her because it doesn't seem right to me any more than it would to make soup for a vegetarian and not tell them/tell them after they'd eaten it that I'd used chicken stock or something like that.
Thanks again for all the insightful comments! I think I may just try Poet's idea, before giving her the refashioned item.
But I also know that sometimes some aversions can be quite irrational and difficult to change, e.g. she may be okay to wear refashioned stuff from people she knows but not from people she doesn't know.
Excellent discussion! Thanks!
I think Poet is on to something. Baby steps and up-front honesty would probably be the way to go here-- you don't want to damage your friendship over an article of clothing.
When you give a gift, the gift itself needs no explanation...it is from your heart. I would be honored to receive and leave it at that.
The rest is the receivers issue not yours. Be true to YOUR heart and you can't go wrong. No
explanation needed...
Amy in Sebastopol
Ahem, when you receive a gift do you ask people where they got it from? I mean if someone makes you a gift do you ask where they got the materials for it? If you do and/or they do; sure tell them... otherwise while they are exclaiming how wonderful it is that you made them a gift... bask in the glow of well deserved praise! Hey.... been there done that! As long as you have cleaned the item ahead of time... whats the big deal?
Thanks Jean! Well, some family members of mine always ask for the gift receipt when I give them gifts. I guess they wanted the option of exchanging the items for something else. Also, when other family members found out that I refashion clothes for myself and my kids, their first reaction was,'that's what poor people do!'. I really don't know how to respond to that! LOL! Obviously they have a totally different mindset about consumption than I do.
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